Evelyn: Look, I… I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O’Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I… am a librarian.
i swear, sometimes i just want to quit this website because of how ignorant some people are
real big fan of the tumblr message system, absolutely love shooting carefully composed messages into the void without any evidence of receipt on the other end
I just wanna s*** some d***
HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.
Not to mention the whole damn town gets cursed
he doesn’t just DIE, he’s lynched because the Gaston-equivalent sees them together and the whole town is horribly racist and that’s why she starts killing people
I WILL DEFEND THESE TWO TO THE GRAVE
Heh, I play the cello, I’ll bet this is an interesting article.
Jesus fucking christ dont get me started on moving the damn thing
They cause die
Me. Thats me.
Motherfucker you wanna play
IT GOT BETTER
dog goes woof
cat goes meow
i wipe my brow and i sweat my rust
cow goes moo
THIS IS MESSING WITH MY BRAIN
*listens to arctic monkeys for the first time*
*5 minutes later*
David Beckham and his sons get GOLD slimed after he accepts the 2014 KCS GOLDEN blimp!
i bet this is the color of his sperm.
The most important discussion of our time happened in a YouTube comments section.